In my reading of Samuel today I was just struck with how God speaks both to and through him. I believe I might be a bit too tired to go into elegantly-expressed contemplations on the matter, but I am truly inspired at Samuel’s ability to listen to the Lord and do exactly as he commands without question. In return, God give him wisdom through his words to Saul and the people of Israel.
Liz and I had a tea-party date today and spoke about the importance of our words. [It is so good to have a fellow lover of words who understands the importance of inflection and phrasing and syntax and diction….perhaps it merely comforts me to know that there is another who is as obsessed with words as I seem to be.]
But really, words have power.
The Spirit of the Lord will come upon you in power…and you will be changed into a different person….do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you. Samuel 10:6-7
Samuel speaks God’s truth and it is done. I know he has the power to change me into an entirely different person, one with wisdom, strength, and truth. One that speaks God’s words without fear. One that uses her voice to honor the Lord and does not waist breath on hurtful, harsh, or gossiping words.
This idea of God transforming Saul into another person motivates me. God needed something specific from Saul; to be the leader of Israel and to prophesies. How then, can the Lord change me into his servant, using me and giving me new qualities to become a speaker of His word?
A series of events have made me become humble in the eyes of God, my peers, and specifically my employers. I have been listening to the Evil one taunt me about silly mistakes I have made, telling me that I am no good, stupid, and a bad person, unworthy of love. This spiritual attack has been eating at me, and yet I find that I am strengthened by my faith. Regardless of what I have done to get to where I am now, I ask God, “What would you have me do?” and he is with me. He would have me humbled, for my pride was too great. He would have me dependent upon him, for my greed was making me feel a sense of power that drove me away from Him. He would have me live simply, for my financial spending and again, my greed were both getting out of hand. He would have me spend quality time with him and give Him more of my life, because I was placing too much of myself into that which is meaningless.
I thank you God, for grace. For each day I know there are little deaths and resurrections of your love whenever I fall and am forgiven. I ask that you take this stress and sadness, and I offer my suffering. I ask that you transform me like you did Saul, into what you wish of me. I cannot do it alone.
In your son’s name,