My New Job as a PHM: On pulling all-nighters, chicken salad, and hashtags (Part 2)

PHM.

Don’t you love acronyms? True story: I have to go look them up on google or urban dictionary most of the time. This was particularly true when I worked in CPS (don’t worry, you can figure that one out by the hyperlink). A job which, by the way, I recently quit. Ah yes, you see, last week I wrote about that huge change in my life. This post is a sequel to that one, but it can stand alone as well.

So anyway, back to acronyms.

In that last post I referred to my new job as a “PHM”, and so I’m ready to share the meaning of this acronym with you…. are you ready? Okay…

Professional Help Meet.

I first got introduced to this term “Help Meet” from the book Created to be a Help Meet by Debi Pearl. I will warn you that this book is not for everyone. It’s quite traditional when it comes to the role of wives in the household, and I anticipate that many women will fine and have already found it limiting and old fashioned. This does not happen to be my opinion.

True, I was skeptical at first, but in “testing” out being a true Help Meet, I have found it to be absolutely Biblical and amazingly successful in the context of my own marriage.

Anyway, the term “Help Meet” is interpreted is to mean that God gave Adam Eve: a helper who was fitted to meet his needs. But when looking at it’s Hebrew translation–Ezer– it actually means something much more profound and powerful.

Ezer is commonly translated as “help”, but has a much deeper meaning. In her book Eve and the Choice Made in Eden, Beverly Campbell explains,

“This word is a combination of two roots, one meaning “to rescue”, “to save,” and the other meaning “to be strong.”

Diana Webb in her book Forgotten Women of God also clarifies this word by explaining,

“The noun ezer occurs 21 times in the Hebrew Bible. In eight of these instances the word means “savior”. These examples are easy to identify because they are associated with other expressions of deliverance or saving. Elsewhere in the Bible, the root ezer means “strength…. the word is most frequently used to describe how God is an ezer to man. “

dim fog mirrorThe other term, “Meet”, has a little trickier Hebrew translation, but with some research, I have discovered that it not only means “suitable” or “fit”, but “mirror opposite”.

When you really think about this in regards to males and females biologically, this is true. I mean, I don’t want to be graphic, but just the sexual organs alone are mirror opposites, and because of this, they fit perfectly together in order to create life.

Another thing to note: opposites are always equal, aren’t they? They are totally different in qualities and oftentimes function, but they are always equally themselves.

Many have interpreted the role as “Help Meet” as a diminished position of servitude unequal to that of the husband or man.

But I have come to understand Genesis 2:18 as something like the following, “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a companion of strength and power who has a saving power and is equal with him.” (Beverly Campbell)

This is the job I have right now:

A Companion of Strength and Power who had Saving Power and is Equal to my Amazing and God-Fearing Husband.

Awesome job title? I know, right?

See, I have begun to help my husband, Dennis Florine, with his career. My job has no real title, as it encompasses so many different jobs– filming, editing, promoting, posting on social media, choosing outfits, booking photo shoots, setting up shows, editing posts, blogging, writing emails, offering advice, preparing meals while the man rehearses, making posters, updating the website, organizing papers and mail, making phone calls, communicating with designers and venues and merch options, creating album covers and artwork, taking photos, and a ton of other things that we’re still figuring out–it’s only been one month as a PHM!

What I am finding, is that my skills, talents, and general likes are exactly mirror opposites to Dennis’, which makes us a very powerful team when we’re working together.

I am also finding that Dennis’ primary love language, Acts of Service, is actually more specific than just doing laundry for him or cleaning up after dinner (which we both do, BTW).

He feels most loved when the Acts of Service for him are helping with his career-his work-his life calling. It makes him feel supported, understood, and believed in.

So, in addition to using my saving powers of strength as a wife and women of God to help his career, my hubby is also feeling super-hard-core-crazy-loved, which, as you can imagine, is pretty awesome for our marriage!

And you know what?–God is so good!–I’m finding so much satisfaction out of this! 

Whether it’s gaining new followers on D’Flo Productions’ twitter page by using specific hashtags, making healthy chicken salad from scratch that Dennis now wants to have on hand at all times, choosing his clothes for his next headshot photo shoot (pics to come soon!), or pulling and all-nighter editing the newest Flo’s Friday Flick, I am feeling so much more appreciated, loved, helpful, fulfilled, and joyful than I ever have!

If you know me personally, you probably know how hard this past season has been, and if you don’t know me, you can read about it in this post.

If you know me personally, you probably also know how hard marriage has been, and if you don’t know me, you can read about that in this post and this post.

Needless to say, this season is very welcomed in the Florine household. All-nighters, chicken salad, hashtags, and everything in between!

You can see our journey on the D’Flo Productions website, facebook, and instagram. Keep up with the story God is creating through our marriage and my new job as a PHM!

Do you have a non-traditional job? How would you describe it? How has your view of wifehood changed since you got married? If you’re not married, what questions do you have about the role of a wife?

What happens when our dreams fade…

Sunday Scripture

What happens when our dreams fade… into different dreams?

I have always found comfort in verse 4 of Psalm 37: “Seek first the Lord your God and He will give you the desires of your heart”.

It sounds incredible, doesn’t it? Seek God, and he’ll make our dreams come true. That’s what my translation was.

And it’s true. God does give us so much, and many times He blesses us so that we can actually make our dreams a reality. However, I have found that this scripture has come to mean something very different to me in real-life application.

Before I committed my life to Christ, I wanted to be an actor.

God had blessed me with incredible opportunity and talent in this area, and so I figured that I had the “go ahead” from Him on this “desire of my heart”. So I devoted my first four years of college to refining my acting skills, learning how to act professionally and still make a paycheck, practice auditioning as an art form in itself as well as a way to land gigs, and building my resume.

Then I met the Lord Jesus Christ.

And slowly, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment, my dream of becoming an actor just up and died.

I found that by the end of that same year I became a Christian, I had lost a tremendous amount of my desire to act. I didn’t even really care for it anymore and when I looked into what the future might hold for me, acting was not on my top priorities any longer.

But… I had always wanted to be an actor. Even as a little kid, God had blessed me with a flair for the dramatics; I would recreate and act out Disney movies with my friends and family constantly. Dress up and performance was my thing. It always was.

All of the sudden I didn’t really know what to do with myself. All of my friends who where my “acting friends” suddenly seemed like strangers; we no longer had anything to talk about or connect on. My professors and directors didn’t know what to do with me either and I was acutely aware of the disappointment I was causing those who previously knew me.

My dream was fading. It was dying. But why?

The answer is oddly simple. My dream of becoming an actor was indeed the desire of my heart, but the reason why I was not granted this desire (nor did I wanted to be granted it) was because I had never really gone after the first part of that verse….

“Seek first the Lord your God…”

Nope. Hadn’t done that until I really truly gave my life to Christ.

As soon as I became a Christian, God began to change and mold my heart, and in doing so, he altered the desires of my heart.

I no longer wanted to be an actor because it wasn’t what I was seeking first anymore; my priorities had changed, and so my dreams changed to include and become God’s dreams.

This is what truly happens when we seek God: His desires for us become our own desires because we are growing to become more and more like the men and women He intended we be.

If you are walking with Christ and seeking Him in all you do, you invite Him to change you. And He will.

Perhaps my new interpretation will be this: “If you follow Jesus, you’re dreams might fade, but rest assured that they will be replaced with a plan that is beyond your wildest dreams.”

How is God changing your heart’s desires? How have your dreams changed since you have come to know and mature in Christ?