My New Job as a PHM: On pulling all-nighters, chicken salad, and hashtags (Part 2)

PHM.

Don’t you love acronyms? True story: I have to go look them up on google or urban dictionary most of the time. This was particularly true when I worked in CPS (don’t worry, you can figure that one out by the hyperlink). A job which, by the way, I recently quit. Ah yes, you see, last week I wrote about that huge change in my life. This post is a sequel to that one, but it can stand alone as well.

So anyway, back to acronyms.

In that last post I referred to my new job as a “PHM”, and so I’m ready to share the meaning of this acronym with you…. are you ready? Okay…

Professional Help Meet.

I first got introduced to this term “Help Meet” from the book Created to be a Help Meet by Debi Pearl. I will warn you that this book is not for everyone. It’s quite traditional when it comes to the role of wives in the household, and I anticipate that many women will fine and have already found it limiting and old fashioned. This does not happen to be my opinion.

True, I was skeptical at first, but in “testing” out being a true Help Meet, I have found it to be absolutely Biblical and amazingly successful in the context of my own marriage.

Anyway, the term “Help Meet” is interpreted is to mean that God gave Adam Eve: a helper who was fitted to meet his needs. But when looking at it’s Hebrew translation–Ezer– it actually means something much more profound and powerful.

Ezer is commonly translated as “help”, but has a much deeper meaning. In her book Eve and the Choice Made in Eden, Beverly Campbell explains,

“This word is a combination of two roots, one meaning “to rescue”, “to save,” and the other meaning “to be strong.”

Diana Webb in her book Forgotten Women of God also clarifies this word by explaining,

“The noun ezer occurs 21 times in the Hebrew Bible. In eight of these instances the word means “savior”. These examples are easy to identify because they are associated with other expressions of deliverance or saving. Elsewhere in the Bible, the root ezer means “strength…. the word is most frequently used to describe how God is an ezer to man. “

dim fog mirrorThe other term, “Meet”, has a little trickier Hebrew translation, but with some research, I have discovered that it not only means “suitable” or “fit”, but “mirror opposite”.

When you really think about this in regards to males and females biologically, this is true. I mean, I don’t want to be graphic, but just the sexual organs alone are mirror opposites, and because of this, they fit perfectly together in order to create life.

Another thing to note: opposites are always equal, aren’t they? They are totally different in qualities and oftentimes function, but they are always equally themselves.

Many have interpreted the role as “Help Meet” as a diminished position of servitude unequal to that of the husband or man.

But I have come to understand Genesis 2:18 as something like the following, “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a companion of strength and power who has a saving power and is equal with him.” (Beverly Campbell)

This is the job I have right now:

A Companion of Strength and Power who had Saving Power and is Equal to my Amazing and God-Fearing Husband.

Awesome job title? I know, right?

See, I have begun to help my husband, Dennis Florine, with his career. My job has no real title, as it encompasses so many different jobs– filming, editing, promoting, posting on social media, choosing outfits, booking photo shoots, setting up shows, editing posts, blogging, writing emails, offering advice, preparing meals while the man rehearses, making posters, updating the website, organizing papers and mail, making phone calls, communicating with designers and venues and merch options, creating album covers and artwork, taking photos, and a ton of other things that we’re still figuring out–it’s only been one month as a PHM!

What I am finding, is that my skills, talents, and general likes are exactly mirror opposites to Dennis’, which makes us a very powerful team when we’re working together.

I am also finding that Dennis’ primary love language, Acts of Service, is actually more specific than just doing laundry for him or cleaning up after dinner (which we both do, BTW).

He feels most loved when the Acts of Service for him are helping with his career-his work-his life calling. It makes him feel supported, understood, and believed in.

So, in addition to using my saving powers of strength as a wife and women of God to help his career, my hubby is also feeling super-hard-core-crazy-loved, which, as you can imagine, is pretty awesome for our marriage!

And you know what?–God is so good!–I’m finding so much satisfaction out of this! 

Whether it’s gaining new followers on D’Flo Productions’ twitter page by using specific hashtags, making healthy chicken salad from scratch that Dennis now wants to have on hand at all times, choosing his clothes for his next headshot photo shoot (pics to come soon!), or pulling and all-nighter editing the newest Flo’s Friday Flick, I am feeling so much more appreciated, loved, helpful, fulfilled, and joyful than I ever have!

If you know me personally, you probably know how hard this past season has been, and if you don’t know me, you can read about it in this post.

If you know me personally, you probably also know how hard marriage has been, and if you don’t know me, you can read about that in this post and this post.

Needless to say, this season is very welcomed in the Florine household. All-nighters, chicken salad, hashtags, and everything in between!

You can see our journey on the D’Flo Productions website, facebook, and instagram. Keep up with the story God is creating through our marriage and my new job as a PHM!

Do you have a non-traditional job? How would you describe it? How has your view of wifehood changed since you got married? If you’re not married, what questions do you have about the role of a wife?

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My New Job as a PHM: On quitting teaching, walking labyrinths, and foolishness (part 1)

A lot has changed in a matter of about a month.

I quit my job. That was probably the biggest thing.

No longer am I a CPS teacher on the Southside of Chicago. In fact, no longer am I a teacher at all, unless you count fitness classes, but I don’t. No longer am I getting a large paycheck every 2 weeks either… which is also quite an adjustment.

Can I be honest? Oh, you know I will be no matter what you say– I’ve been wanting to quit my job at CPS since about the second week of school this past year. Going there everyday for the rest of the school year was very hard for me. There were days when I could barely keep it together before the kids left, and sometimes when I had to physically leave my classroom to keep from breaking down in front of them all. The end of the weekend was hard, and so was the close of a long break. Getting out of bed was hard. Walking through those doors was hard.

But do you know what as harder?

Actually making up my mind to leave. 

That was way harder.

“I am not a quitter.”

— This is what I kept telling myself day after day. But inside my soul was crying out. Inside I knew that I could be so much more alive and so much more fulfilled in a different environment, doing a different kind of work– a different calling.

After wrestling with God about this for month after month, I finally felt it deep down in my bones: the only reason I would be staying is for the financial security; I was afraid to leave only because of the pay cut it would mean for me. Was that a reason to hang on to a draining job that was quickly squeezing the life out of my passion? Would staying be truly acting out of my identity in Christ?

“For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by which we cry out “Abba! Father!” The spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God” -Romans 8:15-16

My heart burned with the conviction that God would be with me, wherever I went and whatever I was doing. Being a CPS teacher was a calling— for a time— and leaving my job as a CPS teacher was also a calling–for this time. I couldn’t live as a true Child of God if I was acting out of fear– being a slave to it, and in doing so, a slave to my identity as a teacher.

I mentioned before about how God took my identity away from some things, and so doing, healed me of a 7-year-long battle with bulimia, and so I knew that if God wanted to take away my identity from the role as “Teacher”, then some serious healing or blessing would probably follow. See, whenever He takes our identity from something, he places it in Himself. This way, we are never defined by this world, but by He who overcame the world. This, in and of itself, is a blessing.

What could I do? God did not give me a spirit of fear! I informed my principal that I would resign from teaching at the end of the year. 

As more and more people “found out” about my departure from CPS, there were mixed opinions.

Some were proud of me, wishing they could do the same with their disliked job.  Some were confused– why would I quit a high-paying job that I was having such success in? Some were supportive, encouraging me to do what what was best for me and my family. Others were discouraging, implying that I was quitting and giving up too soon.

I would be lying if I told you that I didn’t let any of their opinions effect me. But after some Spiritual Direction and time of solitude at the Portiuncula Center for Prayer, I found myself ready to truly say “Goodbye” to my former job, be utterly grateful for every part of it– the good and the bad– and to fully embrace this new and refreshing season in my life.

At the Center, there is this blabyrintheautiful labyrinth that the hermits can walk while meditating or praying. There is only one way into the middle of it, but you must walk the entire interior of the maze. There are no dead ends and no ways to skip or even look ahead in anticipation. You simply have to follow the path, trusting that it will lead you to your destination.

This is how it is when you follow God. You cannot look ahead but a few steps. You cannot fear getting lost, because He is guiding you, and although you may stumble, you will not fall off the path (Psalm 37:24). This takes a lot of trust, and many people on the outside will probably just think you are taking the long way, going around in what appears to be meaningless circles and odd turns that make no sense. But…

“..the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.” -1 Corinthians 1:25

What appears foolish to the world is often the wisdom of God. What appears like weakness to humans, often is taking the mighty strength of God. These facts have comforted me as I think about how my career change may be perceived by others.

All this to say that I now have a new profession.

I call it a “PHM”.

I’ll be explaining what that is in a later post, but rest assured that is it far more energizing, fulfilling, and live-giving than my previous job, and I am so grateful to God that this job is part of my journey on this labyrinth of life. Even if the rest of the world scoffs, I have the reward of my Savior shouting “Well done faithful servant!” in the far corners of my heart.

Stay tuned for more… I’ve got  to get back to work.